Keeping in touch with your child's school
An important way of helping your child do well is to show an interest and be actively involved in their education. Taking and collecting from school or getting involved in homework is a practical way to do this. But it can be harder to do if one parent has little contact with the child during the week. They will be much more dependent on the other parent to keep them up to date. If you have a good, cooperative relationship this won’t be a problem but even then, don’t expect the parent with care to do all the work. Most schools have their own website and you can check out for yourself news, events, term dates and dates of parents’ evenings. Schools are happy to arrange separate meetings for you to talk to your child’s teacher if you would prefer to go separately.
It will of course help the school if you tell them about the separation. This helps teachers understand any unusual behaviour and they can tell you if your child experiences difficulties. It also helps if you have worked out how you and the other parent will be involved with the school. You can then tell the school:
- Who will be collecting the children on what days.
- Who should be contacted in the case of an emergency
- Who they should contact if they need to speak to a parent, for example, about a behaviour problem.
- You can ask for a copy of school reports to be sent to you directly.
Comments
I slightly disagree with the bit about depending on the one parent to keep the other parent up to date. This arrangement can cause conflict which is sometimes difficult to keep away from the children. So, if the parent who has moved away makes their own arrangements for communicating with the school, this can be very helpful to them. It shows commitment and continuing interest in them at a time when they may feel very sad, even rejected, by the parent who has left.
I guess it is part of learning to co-parent - it may be something that one parent has done more than the other and that may need to change. After separation, both of you may have to learn roles and tasks that are new to you, not just carry on doing things the same way as you did when you were still together.