Using a 'weekly parenting plan'

Using a ‘Weekly Parenting Plan’

Most parents find that a regular and predictable pattern of contact works best for everyone. Some parents’ worry that having a structure to the parenting arrangements will mean that there’s no room for flexibility or to be spontaneous. Generally though, the benefits of having a structure outweigh the drawbacks and you can of course agree to be flexible.

In deciding what the parenting arrangements will be, you need to take account of the age and needs of your child, your work or other commitments and the distance between the two households. If you and your ex are trying to make a plan that suits everyone it can help to set out all the possible times you could spend time with the children over a two week period using a Weekly Parenting Plan Table.

To give you an idea of how it can work here are three examples of typical Parent Plan arrangements.

F = Father

M = Mother

S = School/nursery

Example 1- Alternate weekends Friday evening to Sunday evening.

This parenting plan option is based on alternate weekends. It is simple and easy for everyone to follow.  It may reflect the need to be realistic about the time available given work commitments and the distance between the two homes.  The children are separated from the second parent for 12 days and this can be too long for some children. It also limits the opportunities for the second parent to be involved in the day-to-day, school and homework activities. In addition, this option provides little relief to the first parent from children responsibilities.

Example 2 - Extended alternate weekends from Friday after school or work to Monday morning.

This parenting plan option has an extended weekend for the second parent, Friday through to Monday morning. It allows the second parent to be involved in picking up and taking to school. It keeps the number of handovers to a minimum. If handovers are at school parents don’t have to meet and this minimizes stress for the children if parents are conflicted. Children are separated from the second parent for 10 days.

Example 3 - Every other weekend, Friday to Sunday plus midweek visits.

This parenting plan option is based on alternate weekends. Children also spend one evening per week with the second parent – marked in the table as FF. This keeps the gap between visits to 4 days.  For some families evening visits can feel too rushed and the different days each week confusing.

You can, of course, share the care of your child in lots of different ways. Using the Weekly Parent Plan Table can help you to exchange ideas with your ex and experiment with different variations until you find the best one for your family.

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