How to divorce with dignity

Debrett’s, the publisher famous for their etiquette guides, has teamed up with leading divorce lawyers to produce a new guide for divorcing couples: Debrett’s Guide to Civilised Separation. Filled with practical information on divorce, the guide offers advice such as how to break the news to friends and family, and how to behave around your ex, while remaining polite and well-mannered at all times.

Guides like this show that divorce doesn’t always have to  be messy. Separated parents can successfully cooperate and co-parent together for the wellbeing of their children. And despite the pain and turmoil of divorce, considerate behaviour can help reduce distress.

There are several  examples of divorced celebrities who get on well together and manage a successful co-parenting relationship.

Reese Witherspoon and Ryan Phillippe are known for mastering  the art of co-parenting, despite being divorced and living in the showbiz world. They cite similar parenting views, clear sets of rules, structure, and discipline as the secret to their success.

Bruce Willis and Demi Moore have also publicly shown their cooperation and unity as parents after their split, often going out as a family and raising their daughters together. Kate Winslet and her former husband Sam Mendes have raised their son quietly and jointly, avoiding insulting each other in the media. Despite having a very public split, Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony have also cooperated to look after their twins, and were spotted celebrating Marc’s birthday together as a family.

All these examples show that even in the most difficult situations, separated parents can plan and work together to successfully raise their children, as parents, not partners.

More tips for civil separation and co-parenting:

• Try to agree on parenting rules, and plan together a clear set of boundaries for the children. Check out our parenting plan here. Rules will give security to the children despite the reality of divorce.

• Try to be more flexible and accommodating with your ex if it results in more cooperation when it comes to parenting decisions. Don’t let your pride get in the way of what’s best for your children.

• Remember you’re not alone. Parenting is tough, even in the best circumstances, so try to make time for yourself to de-stress and unwind. Share your frustrations with a caring friend, or treat yourself to an evening out.

• Try not to talk negatively about your ex in front of the children. The kids still love both their parents, no matter how you feel.

What do you think of Debrett’s new guide? Do you think it’s a good idea to encourage politeness and consideration when divorcing? Or with some break ups is it just too hard to be cooperative?