A complication situation..
About two and a half years ago I met a girl who was from another country in europe, but who was working in the UK. We hit it off and a little over 6 months after we met she moved into my house. A year and a bit after we met we found out that she was pregnant. At the time she told me she wanted to have the child and I supported that choice. So we spent the 9 months preparing, during which time she seemed to become increasingly critical of me, to the point that it felt like whatever I did she would not be pleased. Perhaps this was a sign of her being fundamentally unhappy. Yet at times everything would be fine, even good. The birth was not an easy one, she was a long time overdue and lost a lot of blood during the delivery which took most of a day, but our son was healthy and well. In the imediate aftermath she seemed even more critical, even hate filled towards me. With hindsignt and having done some reading I would guess that she perhaps went through pre natel and post natal depression. How much this is my fault I don't know. At the time although I knew something was wrong I did not know how to help. She is quite stuborn and not generally receptive to going to doctors and finds it difficult to ask for help. I did try to talk to her mother and sister, both of which I know reasonably well from visiting her family, but this was not well received. So I just tried to be there for her and support her by doing what I could to help.
Five weeks after our son was born she told me she wanted to go to her home country to be with her mother etc for christmas. Three weeks was mentioned. I did not have enough holiday from work left, so could not go. I thought this might help her as she(we) had also struggled looking after our son for the five weeks following the birth as he is a first child for both of us, plus she was still recovering from the birth. She found breast feeding particually hard and was sometimes bordering on histerical when I came home from work. After she left I tried to call, every day but got no answer for 2 weeks at which point it became clear all was generally not well with our reltionship. We talked some and in the end I went out there to help her bring the baby stuff back, in all she and our son were gone for two and half months. I stayed out there for a week at her mothers house(who was away) and things seemed to be better and we got on ok, barring her being critical of me around our son sometimes. Given that I hadn't seen him for two+ months I was not as good as her at caring for him or knowing the routines. We then travelled back to the UK. The day after we arrived back she broke up with me saying she was no longr happy and did not love me anymore. But she said she would stay in the UK, look for a job and move out to a flat when she got one.
A week later her sister visited and they went out drinking while I looked after out son. They arrived back at 3ish in the morning at which point she became histerical and spend about an hour sobbing sitting on the stairs with her sister trying to calm her down. The next day she told me she was leaving with our son in 5 days to go back to her home counrty. I was pretty upset generally, both about the breakdown of the relationship and about my still very young son being taken away. I did talk to a lawyer who suggested the possibility of an injunction to prevent her taking our son from the country temporarily at least. However I could see that this wouldn't really of been in anyone's best interests except perhaps my own in the short term. So I took no action and drove them to the airport that friday.
Before going she made me quite alot of assurances, about for example keeping the online baby tracker we where using updated, told me I could see our son in May when she was returning for her sister's graduation, told me she wanted me involved in our son's life and that she would try to move back to this country when she could get a suitable job.
Since they have left she hasn't really stuck to what she said and now won't allow me to see our son other than by going to her home country(she is staying at her mums house) where she will allow me supervised access. I was pretty devastated when I drove them to the airport, saying goodbye to our baby boy was horrible. On the whole I just don't know what to do, I earn ok I guess but by the time I have paid my mortgage and bills I don't think I could afford more than one trip per month to her home country and even that would be quite difficult. Talking to her now(mainly by email) I really get the impression that she hates me, but I am unsure why, she obviously feels that I let her down, but it is amazing that she can go from telling me she loves me to hating me over the course of a few weeks. I am concerned about what her feelings toward me will mean for me being able to have reasonable, meaningful contact with our son.
Any general advice would be appreiciated. I assume I do not really have any rights, especially as she is in another country. What are my obligations? How should I approach the situation? Everytime I have contact with her I am treading on eggshells for fear of endagering furture acess to my son, but I feel let down that she has not stuck to the promises she made before leaving. One of these promises was that she would teach our son at least a basic level of english, which from my point of view means the difference between being able to converse with him or not. If I am going to be able to have unsupervised access at some point I need to be able to tell him not to do things he shouldn't etc. Really any advice would be greatfully received, this feels like it has all happened so quickly and the life I thought was coming has changed to one that seems quite likely to be very difficult.