Breach of court order - 11 year old refusing contact - is this breaching the court order?
Hi.. I'm not sure where to begin.
I divorced 6 years ago (ex went bankrupt leaving me with debts). My ex took me to court as he wanted the boys to live with him full time. He got contact, where I as the main carer are to make the children available to the father on his contact, being alternate weekends, Wednesday over night and half holidays. He has mainly lived with his parents for the past 6 years, and is always at work (undeclared income so therefore no child maintenance), so the day to day responsibilities of the children rest with his parents. My 11 year old is refusing to go as he never see's his dad and is "always with his grandma". My ex's parents have recently cash bought him a property, where he is purporting to rent this property in an attempt to keep his income low so that the CMS continue to award 'nil assessment'.
My 11 year old has not been on contact now for 3 weeks and makes his own way home from secondary school. An altercation took place between myself and the ex's mother when I parked three streets away from her home as I do not like confrontation with her, and my youngest child knocked on the door requesting his uniform which had not been returned. The ex's mother refused and my 8 year old ran back to the car followed by my ex's mother screaming and shouting with the clothes in a bag behind her back, antagonising me with them. The youngest child witnessed this and told her that he didn't want to see her and confirmed that he is never with his father and spends most of his time with her.
- This woman had previously broken into our home to help her son remove his items, although a time had been arranged for him to come, but they felt it necessary to break in whilst I was at work, leaving glass all over the floor, the house ransacked, tomato ketchup was left in my boots (found a week later) and re-gurgitated food in a plastic bag left in my kitchen drawer.
Following the altercation, my 8 year old went as far as pretending to be sick to avoid contact. He had told his teachers etc over a period of 2 weeks that he did not want contact, for them to tell him they don't want to be involved and to tell his mum. My youngest requested his older sister to pick him up from school on that Friday, for when she arrived my ex had already removed him from school an hour early to speak to him (school never informed me of this). When I attended the school to change my son's clothes, I was told that my ex had removed him from school early and could not give me a reason. After feeling worried all weekend, and the child refusing to speak to me on the Sunday (mothers day), I collected my youngest from school only to be told that everything was fine and that he had been to a theme park for the day. When I asked if he had spent the weekend at his dads house or his grandmas, he lied to me telling me that he had been with his dad and I had evidence otherwise. I don't know what events have proceeded on that weekend but I feel like I have lost my child, as the same child that left me on Friday has not returned, and is making threats to go and live with them. I have never discouraged contact, but if my children refuse then I will not force them. I cant possibly/physically force them. Although my 11 year old has refused contact, on the day that he is expected to be at his dads via the court order, I have contacted his dad so that he knows he is safe, although my ex has never asked me directly why he is refusing contact.
I feel that my 8 year old is making me look like a liar as I am in the middle of taking the matter back to court for a review and I am worried for all of us and our future. I cant afford legal representation so I will be alone at court as I have no family support, whilst my ex has his sister/solicitor, his mother, his father and his legal representative. At my wit's end, can anyone help or give me some advice? Has anyone else ever experienced anything like this?