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Wed 16, May 2012 at 1:40pm
i am a mother of a 4 year old, i am not with my daughters father. i am a part time model and studying at the moment and training for my future job. my situation here is that the father is taking my daugther to his girlfriends house to where they both smoke weed and she is someone i have known from before who slept with him, are now together and now she wants to act like she is my daughters mother. is there any thing i can do to stop him from taking my daughters to see this woman every time he has her.
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There seem to be two concerns for you here, your daughter's wellbeing and safety in that environment and your worry that the girlfriend may be trying to take your place with your daughter. It's completely understandable that you feel very upset. I wonder if you've spoken to your ex and told him how you feel? This may be the first step in sorting things out without animosity, but your daughter is the priority here.
Yes I have spoken to him about it and he doesn't care about my feelings, I've explained that she is doing all these things to get my daughter to tell her she loves her and gifting her loads and taking her places, some say I am just jealous but I just simply do not want that woman to go near my daughter. I hear my daughter now say she wants to go her house and it kills me, after she took one thing from me already she wants to take the other. He simply don't see she is hurting me and defends her...all I want is for him to see his daughter and stop taking her to this womans house. But if there is nothing I can do about that I guess ill just have to make it hard for him in what days to have her etc and live this nightmare. I've met this woman before she got with my daughters dad we were friends and I knw she smokes weed and so does he and God knows what they are like in front of the children, because she has a child too.
Hi, I can see how upset you are and how hurtful this whole situation is to you. But have you thought about your daughter's feelings? Most children simply love both their parents and being denied contact with one of them is very confusing for them. It's sad because children can end up feeling that they weren't good enough to be loved or feel abandoned.
Making it hard for your daughter's dad to see her may be your way of getting back at him but I can't see this being a long term solution for any of you. You really need to talk to your ex; first to check that he won't be smoking when your daughter's with him and second to ask him how he spends his time with her when they're together. I know you're v angry with this woman but the chances are that she's not trying to be another mum to your daughter, she's probably just trying to make sure she has a nice time.
I know you feel hurt by this woman but if your daughter is saying she wants to go to her house would you really rather hear her say she had a miserable time there and didn't want to go? My ex has introduced two partners to the kids and it breaks my heart telling them now that they have to go when they get upset about how his new woman treats them.
If it wasn't this particular woman would you be ok with what your daughter is telling you? It might not feel like it but no-one can replace you as her mum and this woman can't take your daughter from you in that sense.