Ex who's coming out of prison soon
I have a 2 and a half year old little boy, and his dad has been in prison for 1 and a half years. We split up about 1 year into his sentance, because i fell out of love with him, and they has recently been some rows, mainly him screaming at me through frustration. We were together for 8 years, never married, but our relationship was very volatile, and he was very unreliable. He is currently getting 5 days home a month but soon will be out 5 days a weeek every week, and wanted to know what rights we both had. Me and my son live with my parents as I can't afford to move out and will find work once he is in pre-school in a few months time. Also how much maintenace should I be paid, if this man actually has money but not through working (because of being in prison) courts will see he has no bank account so surely doesn't need to give me any?! Please can someone help, personally I feel he has no rights, and should have short supervisored access. Thanks
Comments
That must be hard bringing up a child whose dad's in prison. You've probably had to do it all by yourself, but good that you have your parents help.
It seems like you've had a tough time recently with the rows - not nice someone screaming at you. What is he frustrated about? Is it the ending of the relationship or contact with your son? I expect that the thought of leaving your little boy with someone who's so angry with you is a bit worrying.
As far as you son's concerned, he has the right to have a relationship with his father provided of course that it's a positive experience and he's safe etc. How well does your son know his dad? Would he be ok with his dad without you being there? If you can't think of any other way of organising it, then a Contact Centre would be a good idea.
Maintenance - when he's working he should pay you 15% of his net income. If he's on benefits he'd be expected to pay £5 per week. This link will give you more info - http://www.cmoptions.org/index.asp. For a lot of mum's any contribution like buying nappies or a pair of shoes, can mean a lot. Some dad's just don't appreciate how hard it is bringing a child up alone and having all the responsibility for them.
Hi, I was wondering how you're getting on and whether the comment you had in response to your post was helpful? I'm sure other users would be interested, especially if they're in a similar situation.
Good luck, anyway,
Jaybee,
Yes thank you, the information was very useful indeed. I have thought about maybe using mediation as a route, but think he wuld like us to settle it without professional help as adults! Which is slightly difficult because of things that have been said in th past. But I'm sure with information provided we will come to an arrangment to suit everyone needs! Thanks
It certainly might be worth mentioning mediaiton to him or at least going to a meeting yourself to find out more about it . ( you may be entitiled to free mediation if you are on benenfits or a low income ) .
If you have a history of rowing then I can see why you might not have much confidence in your ability to be able to resolve this together on your own and I suppose thats where mediation can help. They will ensure you both have a voice and keep the focus on the absolute prioity which is off course getting it right for your son .
Hi there,
It's been a while since you first posted - I wondered how things were turning out. Have you and your ex managed to sort things out between you as he hoped?