fed up !
Flag
2 November 2011 @ 18:12
My partner sees the kids ( 9 and 7) every Wednesday 5.00 -6.30 and every other Saturday 9.00 -6.00pm . he is ALWAYS late and turned up today at 5.30pm ! The kids are hungry and he has kept them waiting and then wants to take them for the full visit bringing them back at 7 pm their bathtime !!! I refused to let the children go and told me he cannot see them midweek any more . He is sending me angry texts saying I am stopping him seeing his children and threatening to take me to court . I am really fed up .. he is not putting the children first if he can't be bothered to come in time . I don't know what to do ?
This was of help to 100% of people
Comments
I followed the advice above and read the article about hand overs. I thought it was particularly good in the way it focusses on the child's perspective and steers away from the issues between the parents.
I think it's a bit harsh you cutting his mid-week visit out. Have you tried to find out the reason why he is always late - is it work commitments he can't avoid or just bad time- keeping? Tell him that the kids are hungry and ask would it be better to feed them first? Also explain that if he is late he must bring them back on time which means his visit with them is shortened. Try your best to keep the whole thing amicable. If you try and look at your relationship with him as the father of your children rather than your ex partner it might help. Good luck!
It is tough when you want to protect the children from hurt. The article below is very clear about the sensitivity of children to arguments and rows between their parents as they try to get used to the new arrangements. Maybe you could e mail it to your ex....as a way of explaining how difficult it is for you and the children when he doesn't turn up on time.
http://theparentconnection.org.uk/articles/handovers-are-hard
I found this helpful.
http://theparentconnection.org.uk/articles/how-to-manage-disagreements
I had this problem - he was always 40 mins late. It was only when I really confronted him about it I found out his hours at work had changed and there was no way he'd ever get there on time!! The fact he didn't think it important to let me know was just typical.
I'd have been happy to drop the mid week contact but my 10 year old would have been disappointed so we sorted out some different times and I give the kids tea before he collects them.