joint parental responsibility
at present myself and my ex husband (not yet divorced) have joint parental rewsponsibility for our two children age 5.5 and 1. i have never stopped him seeing them or speaking on the phone but just lately he's turned up at my daughters school afetrer not seeing her for a while didnt tell me so i could tell her and my friend was collecting her, he made a fuss in front of my daughter about why he couldnt take her and this upset my daughter greatly. Again last week another incident where he told me on the phone he would be at the school to collect her on a day that my friend always has collected her then we meet up he made such a fuss saying he has parental rights and he can pick her up anytime he likes and he would be there and i cant stop him, that i had to finish worl early to get to the school and ensure there was no confrontation thet my daughter woulkd witness. I spoke to the school explained what could happen and they were fantastic and supportive - he never showed !!! more control and mind games with me ?? has anyone had issues like this and how can i resolve it i hate knowing he could take them at anytime and the way hes used this to try and hurt me when all hes done is upset our daughter ??
Comments
As a dad I think I know where your ex is coming from - when we split 3 years ago i felt v bitter towards my ex. To me it felt like I'd been forced out of my house and away from my kids whilst she just carried on as normal. Yes, I wanted to get at her but I also resented the fact that she got to say when i saw the kids as if they were hers and nothing to do with me. Looking back there's things I regret but at the time i was pretty angry. I'm not saying everythings perfect now as my ex can still be v unreasonable and demanding but things are much much better.
Good idea to speak to the school so they know what's going on and you know they're supportive. Our children's centre only lets children go with the person they know will collect them and if it's going to be someone else they have to know in advance. They said it's something that comes up a lot so they really understand.
Sounds like he didn't follow through when you gave him the opportunity to collect your daughter so these are probably just empty threats. Still stressful, but you've shown that your priority is that your daughter doesn't get upset and in the end I'm sure he'll see that. Whatever his reasons, the fact that you responded in a constructive way doesn't leave him much chance for game playing. I think it's the best thing you can do while things might still be raw and unsettled about the divorce etc. Maybe longer term you can put together some kind of parenting plan so everyone knows where they stand.