just dont know how much more i can take !
i have been seperated for almost a year now and finacial arrangements have still not been settled. CSA got involved last september and since then they have had no joy obtaining any money from my ex who has recently jacked his job in as he ows so much in back pay !!!. I have had summer clothes to buy shoes etc for two children age 6 and 1.5 and have asked for his help and he refuses ! yet he can take them off and drive nice cars and turn up in new clothes ?? i cant cope finanially and its getting silly. I have never stopped contact and have tried to be the amicable one. He has his own house now sees the kids every tuesday and every other weekend . He has no cooker though and his next door female neighbour has i big involvment in looking after my children and i dont know her !!! he has also after i suggested meeting her suggested i meet his new girl too !!! i feel soi frustrated and angry how can they get away with behaving like this !. I am in the process of applying for divorce although i recently started a new relationshio and 2 months in my new boyfriend was killed in a bike accident. My new boyfriend had met the children as my ex was being so akward over contact and threatening to my new boyfriend at the time 'threatened to break his legs ' !! this is just a small bit of info on what he can be like !! i have had 12 months of hell i wish i didnt have to deal with him, i dont know what to do :(
Comments
What a really hard time you are having! ...losing your new boyfriend, struggling to make ends meet as you try to manage bringing up your two little children on your own and getting no support either financially or emotionally from their father...its no wonder you feel at the edge of what you can cope with. Have you considered mediation as a way forward...this would at least give you the help of a trained mediator to facilitate you and your ex in coming to a better way of managing the way you share the upbringing of your children. http://theparentconnection.org.uk/articles/family-mediation is an introductory article on mediation.. There are also other helpful articles in this section of the site. You sound like you could do with some emotional support yourself as you go through this very tough patch...do you have a close family member or friend you can confide in?
Hi there, just when you think things can't get any worse....it does!
Look - not everything's great for you but there are some things that you and your ex are doing well. You're making sure the children see their dad even tho' you probably think he doesn't deserve you're cooperation. Even if he doesn't appreciate you and what you do as a mum, just remember that your children will. And so will he eventually.
I hope you don't mind me saying this but it seems to me that he knows how to push your buttons and you haven't completely learnt not to react yet. Why should you waste so much of your precious energy on him! He's not worth it. Expect nothing from him and you won't be disappointed.
that makes sense thanks, i do well usually but sometimes it gets to me, especially whilst im struggling financially, to have people say they seen pictures of him with someone new doesnt bother me butr the fact i know hes not paying for his children but can afford to date !!!!, i know deep down when the children are older they will understand more and respect hoe i have brought them up, its just emotionally draining. But like you say and your notr the first he knows how to push my buttons so about time i toughen up :) thanks
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that makes sense thanks, i do well usually but sometimes it gets to me, especially whilst im struggling financially, to have people say they seen pictures of him with someone new doesnt bother me butr the fact i know hes not paying for his children but can afford to date !!!!, i know deep down when the children are older they will understand more and respect hoe i have brought them up, its just emotionally draining. But like you say and your notr the first he knows how to push my buttons so about time i toughen up :) thanks
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That's really hard on you. I just can't help thinking as I read that - if you can get through the last 12 months you can get through most things and your kids are getting a great example of how to be strong without hitting out at other people even when things are hard. Thanks for sharing it!