After a long 18 months my husband and I have agreed to separate (it has been a v. painful process not helped by my husband not being accepting of the situation or his part in it until recently). We are now taking the first tentative steps. towards separating having told our daughters (they knew it was a possibility) they took it quite well although younger one had massive melt down 2 days later not surprising. It is now over a week since we told them but we don't seem to have a plan to move forwaard. I seem to be the only one to initiate conversation on this subject my husband doesn't discuss he just seems to go ahead with things then if I show surprise he just suggests he has discussed it. I am finding this difficult and trying v. hard not to get into a row with him.
To complicate things further We run a business together and are 50/50 directors so our main sources of income will come from this business. My husband has managed the cashflow in and out of the business (not always successfully). We don't get a set salary each month but he drips money into our personal account over the month. I know why he does this but not sure how this will be arranged going forward as I want a clear plan. However due to the nature of our business I can understand why he does this and have suggested maybe when we seperate that the business pays all the bills for both our new places and a set amount for genearal spending is then transferred into our seperate accounts. He said he needed to think about it (this was suggested yesterday in our counselling session) but then today on asking about our pension he just it would be separate goign forwarfd. I thought this unfair as he was v. brisk, no discussion.
Please advise as to how best to negotiate as I am finding he gives mixed messages as last night he was calling me 'poppet' and 'darling' and then this morning he was brisk and off hand. I don't know how to discuss these issues without getting into a row with him.
We are v. stuck we live in the same house but in seperate rooms now due to circumstances which led us to this point I asked him to move out but he refused thinking it would move us further apart in fact the opposite has happened we are further apart as a result of him staying. I feel although we have told our famillies and friends we are seperating there is a danger we will continue on like this unless I instigate everything
I know alot of information but it is a very confusing time all round