Should I put dad on baby's birth certificate?
My partner and I seperated 5 days ago (our baby's due date) I am now 5 days overdue and wondering whether to put him on the birth certificate when the baby comes.
I know that if I put him on there he will have parental rights but I would like to know:
1. are those rights equal to mine as the mother?
2. Would he potentially be able to ask for contact 50% of the time?
3. Does he still have to pay child maintenance if he is not named on the birth certificate?
4. does anyone know from what age he could ask to take the baby? I would not feel happy about him taking my newborn.
I know that he wants to be involved in the baby's life, he has already contacted solicitors and that he will push to have the baby as much as possible. I am really wondering if I should omit him when I register the birth. Any advice would be much appreciated, thank you.
Comments
Poor you - you have a lot on your plate don't you. I thought I'd better answer quickly before you go into labour!
To answer your questions: First I don't think there's anything to gain by not putting him on the birth certificate. If you refused to give him Parental Responsibility, he could apply to a court and be granted it. You don't suggest he's likely to be an unfit dad and this would be the only reason that he wouldn't be granted it. He has to pay child maintenance whatever.
I can see that your biggest worry is about contact. There's no set rules about this other than the most important consideration is whether the baby is ok. Generally it's not good for new borns to be separated from their mums. You will need to work together on this, which is v hard when you've just separated. Basically, he has to learn how to look after the baby and the best person to show him is you. What this means is that to begin with he'll only be able to see the baby at your home and with you present. Gradually, as everyone starts to feel more confident you can extend the time; he could take the baby for a walk etc. Babies and toddlers cope best with 'little and often' time with their dad. How do you feel about him visiting frequently?
Shared parenting is really good for your baby in the long run - he or she will be much happier having a close bond with you both. You have to work out the best way of doing this for your family. Shared care doesn't have to mean 50/50 and in fact this arrangement is impossible for lots of families. I think that discussion is a long way away for you though - you have the baby years to deal with first!
Have you read the articles on this site about parental responsibility? Let us know if you have any other worries.....