Visiting Rights.
My partner has a 5 year old daughter from a previous relationship but the mother wont let him see her. His parents have her overnight every other weekend so he goes there to see her. she crys for him and always asks when she can see him. He gives her money every month without fail and buys anything she needs. We have been together a year and during that time she has let him see his daughter about 5 tines, usually when she wants to go out and cant get a sitter. Hes always asking to see her and usually gets told to go to her house and when he arrives nobodys in, yet shes always telling other people he never sees her. Hes agreed to everything shes asked for and is always on time to see her but the mother always has an excuse or changes her mind at the last minute. We dont know what rights he has as he isnt entitledto legal aid and cant afford a solicitor. If anyone could give me some advice it would be greatly appreciated. Its tearing him apart. he only wants to be a part of his daughters life.
Comments
Hiya
Wouldn't it be great for his daughter if she knew when she was seeing her Dad! Sounds like's doing all the right things but is still being treated like someone who isn't important in her life. I don't know what happened between your partner and his ex. Sometimes that does affect how people behave - not that it's right, but if for example there was a lot of aggression or hurt in a relationship people might find it hard to meet. So then the challenge is how to leave that behind and relate differently as parents, which is what needs to happen. It would still be pretty rare for it not to be in the child's best interests to see both parents.
The legal process is there to make sure children's rights are protected, and your partner could apply to court, even without a solicitor, to try to get more regular contact established. (You've probably read the other information about that on this site by now.) But probably the last thing he wants to do is to get his ex's back up. At least at the moment his daughter is seeing her grandparents/his parents and it gives him the chance to maintain a relationship with her. I think it could be worth him contacting a mediation service. A court would expect him to have tried this route anyway. He could discuss things with his ex there and try to come up with a parenting plan where both of them commit to regular arrangements, so his daughter knows when she's next going to see her Dad. He might well have to pay for the meetings but they'll be cheaper than solicitors fees.
In the meantime, though it might be hard for him (and you), if he can carry on being consistent and supporting his daughter, he's got the best chance to make things improve in the future.
Good luck both of you!
It sounds as if this situation is causing your partner a lot of distress and no doubt difficult for you to watch . I hope you found the above link useful .In answer to one particular question that you have asked , parents do not have the rights . it is actually the child has the rights. The law states that" the needs of children should come first and should involve both parents in caring for their children (unless there is a good reason for one parent not to be involved)"
It sounds as if there is no defined contact and that is unsettling for your partner ( and maybe his daughter and her Mum ) so I hope some of the options outlined above might give him ideas about trying to reach a workable solution . let us know how he gets on!
No wonder you want to want to help him sort it out....It is hard seeing someone you love suffer. I found this article really helpful...there is no easy answer but at least it sets out ways of tackling it. and it pointed me to other articles that helped too. Let me know what you think.
http://theparentconnection.org.uk/articles/options-for-resolving-disagreements-about-the-children