Welcome to Getting it right for children when parents part
Getting it right for children is the priority for most parents when they part. But it is a stressful time and even ordinary day to day arrangements can become difficult. At times, emotions run high and communication can be tricky.
To get it right for children means parents talking about the best arrangements for their children and keeping each other informed of changes....
read more
Welcome to Getting it right for children when parents part
Getting it right for children is the priority for most parents when they part. But it is a stressful time and even ordinary day to day arrangements can become difficult. At times, emotions run high and communication can be tricky.
To get it right for children means parents talking about the best arrangements for their children and keeping each other informed of changes.
Parents who find this hard often believe it’s best to communicate through their children because it avoids direct contact between parents and the risk of getting upset. Sending messages through the children seems like a good way to avoid conflict. But it often doesn’t work out like that.
When children are asked to carry messages between their parents they say they feel “caught in the middle”; research shows that this is very upsetting for children.
So, to get it right for your child(ren) you will need to:
1. Recognise how and why your child may be getting “caught in the middle” of your conflict
2. Find ways of making sure your child isn’t “caught in the middle”
3. Learn how to communicate with your child’s other parent (even when it’s difficult.)
4. Work together with your child’s other parent.
This programme is designed to show you the five levels of skills you will need:
Level 1 Stay calm, listen
Level 2 See things differently
Level 3 Speak for myself, stick to the point and the rules
Level 4 Negotiate
Level 5 Work it out
It is based on a tried and tested way of learning the skills that lead to better communication. You will be introduced to the skills by five different families. Each family is dealing with a typical situation that often happens when parents are no longer living together.
You will see a map - displayng the families and the skills you will learn from each level.
For each family you will see two short films. One shows what happens when children get caught in the middle, and the other shows what happens when one of the parents uses the skills to change their behaviour, and the children are kept out of the middle.
By watching all five Families you can see the full range of skills (Levels 1-5) which can help you to do things differently. It will help you to find a better way for your child/children.
At the end of the programme you can enter the 'My Space' area where there are opportunities to check out what you have learned. You can also remind yourself of the skills through the 'Skills in Action' area which shows clips of all the skills.
If you have any questions about the programme, you can visit our
FAQs page, or if you’d like to read more about why we developed this programme you can
read more here.
