Quick Questions

Sounds like you're worried about your kids when they're with their dad. Have you had a conversation with him about this yet?
Mich33 - if you use the forum you can say more about your situation and get more responses.

People say lots of things they don't mean when they're angry and upset - it's quite a big thing for a mum to walk away from her children although sadly, it does sometimes happen.

Your child has the right to have contact with both parents so if your ex did want to start seeing your child you'd be expected, as parents, to sort something out. How is your child coping? It must be v worrying for him/her.

Yes and no! If you're the main carer you are free to make day to day decisions about your daughter. However, this doesn't mean that her dad has no right to have a say in her upbringing. It all depends on what things you're disagreeing about. Generally it's best for children if parents can co-operate but it can be quite rocky after a separation.

What exactly is going on? Perhaps you could post more details on the Forum?

Try to ignore the threat, take some time and keep calm communication open - fears at this time can make things escalate when they don' t need to. Your baby has a right to see you, she's young so try to work with her mum on this. Court's a last resort and hopefully unnecessary so have a look at some of the information on here and consider mediation if things are difficult.
http://theparentconnection.org.uk/articles/tips-for-helping-you-communicate-with-your-ex
http://theparentconnection.org.uk/articles/planning-parenting-time
http://theparentconnection.org.uk/articles/parents-not-partners

Your wife can choose to live where she likes. As it affects your time with the children you need to find out more about her reasons for moving. There may be things you can do to encourage her to think again. If not, you will have to negotiate different arrangements for seeing the children. If you believe that your wife is being unreasonable AND it is practical and right - you could argue that the children should live with you. This is a very difficult situation for everyone involved, especially the children.

This is a non resident parent's nightmare so try to get as much help and support as you can. If you have other questions why don't you use the Forum?

Both parents need to agree on holiday arrangements. In practice one parent can refuse but whether that is reasonable or in the best interests of the children is up for discussion. If there is a disagreement about holidays your partner and his ex have to try to work out a way to get round it. I'm afraid there's no definitive set of rights about this. This article might help:

http://theparentconnection.org.uk/articles/options-for-resolving-disagreements-about-the-children

it would depend on how old she is and whether she wants to see you. Why don't you use the Forum so you can put in more details for a better response?

Yes I think it is fair. Your child is a 50/50 product of you and you both have equal responsibility for raising that child. CMEC should be able to help you calculate costs in a fairer way.

Splitting the costs 50/50 seems fair no matter who earns most or least.

What do you think is fair?

Ask your ex if he/she wouldn't mind copying you into any texts that include arrangements so that your son doesn't become a messenger between the two of you

Ask your ex to keep you informed even if they do prefer to arrange things by text.

That must make it hard for your son as he has to be the messenger. Tell your ex that and ask him to arrange things directly with you.

Can you contact the school and ask them to send you the information?. Schools are familiar with these situations and can assist .

Speaking to your ex-wife may help her to understand that you are just as interested in your child's education as she is and that you would like to ask the school to copy you in to school reports and notification about parents evening. Perhaps you could take it in turn to attend parents evenings, or attend together?

You could contact the school and ask them to send you information, copying the letter to your ex.

Whatever you do don't a) bad mouth her back through the children or b) discuss your feelings about what she is saying with your kids. Keep them out of your issues with your ex. All you can do is communicate to her that it isn't best for the kids. (And make sure you don't bad mouth her!)

Continue to reassure your children that you love them and that although you no longer live with them, you will continue to see them regularly and that you are only a phone call away.

It depends on the child, either arrangement will take getting used to for any child.

What do the children want? From a child's point of view it can be really unsettling to be going back and forth. One main home gives security.

Keep in contact by mobile phone, texting or messaging as often as you can. Arrange to do specific things with your son, rather than whole weekend visits.

That's teenagers, they want to see their mates. Don't take it as rejecting you. Let him know you understand but that you really love seeing him and ask him to suggest a new arrangement.

Why not get your ex more involved during the week so you can take some time with the kids at the weekends too?

Not sure there is a balance, if you have the kids during the week when they are at school. Could your ex do the school runs some days? Could you make sure you set aside some fun time when they are with you?