Quick Questions

Hi, I'd put your comment on the forum as many more people will see your question there. I agree with the other comments about advice. Also, does this article help at all? http://theparentconnection.org.uk/articles/managing-a-long-break-up-parent-connection.

It's hard to say without more information about your circumstances. I would suggest that you go on to the forum as you'll get much more help. Is the housing situation your main worry? It would be useful to have more info - How long have you lived together and how old area the children? Is the house rented or owned by your partner? Whatever the answers I suppose that you need to find out what your housing options are for if you move out. Start with your local housing dept. the CAB would also be helpful. It might be worth getting some legal advice too. In the meantime go to the Forum. It is such a big worry when this happens but there is lots of support for you . Hope we hear from you soon.

You could apply for parental responsibility http://theparentconnection.org.uk/articles/fathers-legal-rights-and-responsibilities.
You could consider posting on the site and you may receive more support

It depends what you mean by 'supervised'. If you'd be ok with your ex being supervised by his mum, for example, you could sort this out yourselves or use mediation. If you want to use a Contact Centre (http://www.naccc.org.uk/) you can often refer yourself or ask a solicitor to make the referral. Again, you could use mediation to help you sort this out. Court is there as a last resort if you can't agree but generally the hope is that parents will find a way of working together.

If you have any other questions, you'd be very welcome to use the forum.

Will your ex give permission to do this. this web site might help https://www.gov.uk/child-adoption/adopting-a-stepchild

No you don't lose parental responsibility on divorce. Any particular reason you ask?

Sorry I'm not sure I've understood everything. Is your child 5 now? Has his mum being seeing your child since she left? It might be worth going onto the Forum so you can put some more details in.

Anyway, the brief answer is that she doesn't have the right as such to 'take him anytime'. That's not to say she's not entitled to spend time with him. You need to agree between you what's best for your child so that he feels happy and safe. As I said - use the Forum as this is a real worry for you.

What's the problem not giving it? I think it's often considered a reasonable request. If you just want it to be private you could try compromising eg tell her the area you're in case she's worried you're taking them miles away and/or tell her you and the children can be contacted by phone at any time. My advice is try to avoid this becoming a big issue.

Yes I think it is fair. Your child is a 50/50 product of you and you both have equal responsibility for raising that child. CMEC should be able to help you calculate costs in a fairer way.

Splitting the costs 50/50 seems fair no matter who earns most or least.

What do you think is fair?

Ask your ex if he/she wouldn't mind copying you into any texts that include arrangements so that your son doesn't become a messenger between the two of you

Ask your ex to keep you informed even if they do prefer to arrange things by text.

That must make it hard for your son as he has to be the messenger. Tell your ex that and ask him to arrange things directly with you.

Can you contact the school and ask them to send you the information?. Schools are familiar with these situations and can assist .

Speaking to your ex-wife may help her to understand that you are just as interested in your child's education as she is and that you would like to ask the school to copy you in to school reports and notification about parents evening. Perhaps you could take it in turn to attend parents evenings, or attend together?

You could contact the school and ask them to send you information, copying the letter to your ex.

hi can you expand on this a bit more and tell me what you would like help with

hi can you expand on this a bit more and tell me what you would like help with

hi can you expand on this a bit more and tell me what you would like help with

Continue to reassure your children that you love them and that although you no longer live with them, you will continue to see them regularly and that you are only a phone call away.

Whatever you do don't a) bad mouth her back through the children or b) discuss your feelings about what she is saying with your kids. Keep them out of your issues with your ex. All you can do is communicate to her that it isn't best for the kids. (And make sure you don't bad mouth her!)

It depends on the child, either arrangement will take getting used to for any child.

What do the children want? From a child's point of view it can be really unsettling to be going back and forth. One main home gives security.

Keep in contact by mobile phone, texting or messaging as often as you can. Arrange to do specific things with your son, rather than whole weekend visits.

That's teenagers, they want to see their mates. Don't take it as rejecting you. Let him know you understand but that you really love seeing him and ask him to suggest a new arrangement.