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Are You Staying Together Just For Christmas?

Tags: christmas
Content Types: Tips and Advice
Categories: Separating

The Christmas period is a typically family-orientated time which is why research shows that couples feel more pressure to put their differences to one side over the festive season.

It has been suggested as many as 27% of parents make more effort to hide their problems over Christmas, but 18% have the exact date in mind when they will terminate their relationship.

Many separating parents may decide to stay together during the Christmas period and split up in January. However concerns have been raised suggesting that ‘putting on a front’ can actually do more harm than good for a family.

Four in ten married parents have suggested that they are not completely happy in their marriage so how is it that people manage to hide all this over Christmas?

Some of the ways parents hide their problems include:

  • Sleeping in the same bed
  • Celebrating birthdays and Christmas together as a family
  • Going on family outings and holidays
  • Going on date nights
  • Showing affection publicly: holding hands and kissing
  • Bottling up any issues to avoid discussion which would lead to an argument
  • Not arguing in front of the children

Is it a good idea to stay together?

Surveys have been taken and various children from unhappy homes have provided feedback to why they think it’s better to divorce than stay married. They have indicated that despite parent’s best intentions to conceal their true feelings it’s often visible to them what is wrong.

On top of this is the idea that children can feel lied to if they realise as they grow older that they were the only reason you didn’t get divorced sooner, not including that the impacts of divorce on young adults can actually be much worse than on children, who have more of a tendency to ‘bounce back’.

Other children of parents in an unhappy marriage have said that hearing their parents arguing was even more stressful than the divorce itself, that’s not to mention the parents who don’t ever divorce but just subject those around them to constant arguing and a stifled atmosphere.

Meanwhile others have suggested that they felt their parents in their frustration and anger with their spouse, took out this heated anger on their children, unintentionally, but nevertheless very memorable for children growing up. This often takes place despite the fact that for many unhappy couples the children are whom you’re trying to protect from divorce.

If you do come to the conclusion that the marriage is no longer working and you want to start looking into different options that are available family lawyers such as Knocker and Foskett can be helpful.

When seeking legal advice, free consultations are available at Rix and Kay who specialise in family law, these can cover any financial concerns or contact issues that you may have.

 

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Comments

  • User-anonymous MichelleWalton Flag

    Thanks for those links....

    Wed 4, Jan 2017 at 10:48am
  • User-anonymous PCadmin Flag

    Hello - thanks for commenting. Separation can be really tough and it may seem like there is never a right time for it, but it's really encouraging that you're putting your children first. As you move through the process, you may find it helpful to use our free parenting plan (http://www.splittingup-putkidsfirst.org.uk/home) or chat to other parents in the forum (http://theparentconnection.org.uk/posts). I hope things go as smoothly as they can for you.

    Wed 4, Jan 2017 at 10:38am
  • User-anonymous MichelleWalton Flag

    And this is what we have just done to try and make this Christmas a great one for the kids. We have waited until after New Year too because we didn't want them to have a "horrible" new year. We also don't want them to associate Christmas and New Year each and every year with their mom and dad getting separated! I'm wondering if we did the right thing....

    Mon 2, Jan 2017 at 11:21am