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Access to a parent who has a prescription drug issue.

Posted by: Anonymous
Sun 13, Aug 2017 at 7:44am
After Separation

Hi, first time poster, I'm looking for some guidance. I have a son whose 2, uve been separated from his father for over 6 months because he has a prescription drug abuse issue (tramadol) since separation I've allowed two hours supervised access a week (he isn't able to look after our son alone). His substance abuse issues are huge so much so he's buying extra tablets online from anywhere on top of what his GP prescribes just to get his (hit) I strongly believe our son needs both parents in his life and I've promised to review the access arrangements again once he's in a professional scheme to get help with his addiction. At present he claims his mum is helping him (however during her help he's overdosed at least once in the last few weeks and I actually saved his life) I don't see his mum as helpful help, more enabling and sympathising. Am I being unfair restricting access until he gets proper help? I also believe he has been taking other substances buy I cannot prove this.

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  • Pc jaybee (moderator) Flag

    Thank you for your post. It sounds like you've out a lot of thought and care into working out what's best for your son. You're also obviously trying to be fair to your ex, by agreeing to review things but what I guess you're looking for is assurance that your son will be safe in his father's care
    What your story seems to demonstrate is that your ex agrees that he needs help and is accepting it from his mum but, so far, this has not helped to change his behaviour in relation to his drug use. So, it seems to me, as well as him getting professional help, you may also need to make it clear that he must demonstrate that he can be drug-free.
    What do you think?

    Sun 13, Aug 2017 at 3:58pm
  • User-anonymous Tickle Flag

    He has a medical condition that I know requires pain killers however not abuse of said pain killers his GP is aware and has moved his prescription to weekly because of his issues however 52 tramadol from his GP lasts just two and a half days and then he's buying other drugs online. He doesn't feel he has an issue and won't ask for help. I totally agree our son needs both parents but while his fathers family and he accept this addiction is normal I'm not happy for our son to be left at risk. My ex assumes I'm being nasty, I'm really not, we made a child together but our child deserves two good parents not one good and one who isn't bothered by his own actions.

    Sun 13, Aug 2017 at 5:00pm
  • Pc jaybee (moderator) Flag

    Good to hear from you again. Sounds like what you're up against is a difference in view of how capable your ex-partner is of taking care of your son on his own. What you may need to be prepared to do is be clear about why you think their contact with each other needs to be supervised and time limited for the time being.
    Is this a formal agreement between you (with a court, solicitors or a mediation service having been involved) or just an arrangement that you have come to by yourselves?
    Either way, you're right to make your son's well being your main priority. There are obvious safety issues if he is left in the care of someone who is under the influence of drugs or alcohol. There might also be concerns if that person is affected in such a way that they are not able to prioritise a child's needs or if they are emotionally 'absent' due to the affects of intoxication.

    Tue 15, Aug 2017 at 3:35pm
  • User-anonymous Tickle Flag

    Hi and thanks for replying.
    We have no court orders or anything in place, it's what I deccided was needed until he sought help.
    He doesn't deal and never had with Oscars physical or emotional needs, like food changing and lacks play skills to, ideally I'd like him to do a parenting skills course but I again can't force this. He's had lots of chances to do these things but opts not to.
    My biggest issue at present is he feels I'm doing it to be spiteful to hurt him, the truth is I'm not, I desperately want him to play the role in our sons life as a father, but he does need help to be able to do this safely. Today's escalated to him giving me threats and ultimatums I just wish he understood as soon as he helped himself I'm more than willinG to negotiate.

    Tue 15, Aug 2017 at 5:59pm