Cookies on The Parent Connection: The couple connection uses cookies to ensure that we give you the best experience on our website. If you continue to use the couple connection, we will assume that you are happy to receive all cookies from this site.

Advice on what to do next.....

Posted by: Anonymous
Wed 7, Feb 2018 at 10:28am
After Separation

To all the dads on here...... very long winded but hey here it goes!!!

A mother takes the father to court for not wanting to see his children on a regular basis. At that time he was living with his parents 1hr 20 mins away and supposedly didn’t have enough room at his parents for children to stay more than one night per month. Cafcass grilled him in court and he eventually agreed to have the children every other weekend once he found somewhere else to live. He then met someone, moved in with her (1hr away) and had a baby. Mother met someone and decided to move further up north but still only took 1hr to get to fathers house. Father took mother to court to stop the move but this failed in court so the move proceeded.
Mother agreed to take the children to fathers house alternate Fridays and father is to bring back on alternate Sundays.
Now 5 months after the court hearing father has decided to move back to his parents house, where this is now 3 hours away (6 hour round trip) and also this is where father couldn’t commit to having the children every other weekend but yet had still proceeded with the move giving mother 12 days notice of what his plans are. Mother has other commitments also, so cannot do the journey on the Fridays all the way to his parents house but has told the father that mother will still be happy with meeting him in his old area which is half way.
Since mother has refused to drive the children to his parents house, the father has refused all contact not only to the mother but the children aswell, no calls to the children and also let the mother and children wait in his old area for him to turn up on his last scheduled weekend and he didn’t show! Mother and children tried to call him to see where he was and the phone was put down!

There is so much more to this and the emotional damage the father is doing to the children but any advice is welcome.

What sort of father would do this to his children?

Most decent fathers would move heaven and earth to see his children, am I wrong here?

I know there’s some fathers out there fighting to see their children with the mother not letting it happen for their own reasons but it’s surely quite rare for a mother to fight for the children to see their father!?

As the saying goes ‘you can’t make a person be a good dad’!

The only people getting affected by this is the beautiful little angels in the middle! Sometimes we do live in such a sad sad world where people are so wrapped up In their own negativity and forget about the importance of their family.

  This was of help to 0% of people  


  • Pc jaybee (moderator) Flag

    You're right, it is pretty rare for a parent to be fighting for the other parent to stay involved with their kids. Often, as you've commented in your case, there is a lot more to the situation than is apparent on the surface - usually a power struggle between the parents. Does that ring any bells?
    Sadly, as long as parents continue to act out their grievances with each other through their children, they're the ones that will probably pay the highest price.
    Now, I'm not saying you're right and he's wrong; I simply don't know enough to take a position on that. Whatever the differences are between you, the situation won't improve for your children until those are set aside.
    Is there any prospect that the two of you might consider getting help from a mediation service? Would you consider this?
    You can begin by talking to your local one and finding out if they feel yours is a case that they could help with. They may then undertake to contact your ex and invite him to talk to them as well. You never know, he might respond positively if there's someone who he feels is neutral and prepared to listen.

    Sun 11, Feb 2018 at 1:40pm