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Boyfriend going through Divorce...what do we do?

Posted by: Anonymous
Mon 27, Feb 2012 at 2:04pm

My new boyfriend is going through a divource, but his other half is being troublesome. No they have no children involved as they are grown up and married themselves. Should he mention our intentions to live together to the solicitor once he is divorce, will this have a barring on his finacial settlement with his current spouce? I have 3 children under 18 living with me and my new boyfriend will be the main bread winner as it were, as we are planning to have a baby together once his divorce is through.
I am so confused as to what to do. Will it help us in the future, or jeopadise my family, I do not work as I have a disabled son, so am his fulltime carer. Would his current spouce still claim maintence from him/us for her living until their house is sold. Any info would be great, I don't like all this upset.

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  • Pc Jamie Flag

    There are lots of questions to answer here and without the full picture I am not sure you can get a conclusive answer. I think the starting point is for your boyfriend to be 100% honest with his solicitor. He is acting for him after all and would give him him the answers on how to protect his interests .He will also be able to give him information on spousal maintenance and when it becomes applicable and for how long . It might be an idea for the two of you to sit down together and compile a list of questions that you need answers to and maybe both of you could visit the soilcitor together ?

    Mon 27, Feb 2012 at 6:07pm
  • User-anonymous Eyes600 Flag

    Thanks Jamie. He has mentioned to the solicitor about him having a GF, but she has told him not to put any of this information down on his financial settlement form or FORM E as it's called. If I am not mentioned he appears to be on his own with now great outlay on expenses. But with us he will have, so is this not massively relevent?

    Mon 27, Feb 2012 at 11:12pm
  • User-anonymous Anonymous Flag

    Hard as this is for you, it is for your BF with his solicitor's advice to make these decisions. However if it is important to you that your question is answered...i.e why the solicitor is not including your relationship's future needs in the financial settlement form, why not ask your BF to ask the solicitor for the reason. Is your BF's ex aware of your relationship?

    Tue 28, Feb 2012 at 9:39am
  • User-anonymous Eyes600 Flag

    We have been talking about what could happen if he has to pay her extra money, because then it would be hard for us when we live together. She is already entitled to half of everything which is fine, no problem with that, each of them need to be able to move on. But is is after claiming against his wages and pension too, and if this is the case he will have to pay her every week/month a set amount. I don't get it to be honest, they don't have any young children. She knows he is seeing someone but doesn't know how serious it is.

    Tue 28, Feb 2012 at 9:21pm
  • User-anonymous Eyes600 Flag

    We have made a list of questions of which my BF asked his solicitor. She has taken into account his new future commitments in his financial settlement, but the divorce will be completed before the financial part. I don't know how this if at all will affect me and my children if he should move into to our home after the divorce, bearing in mind he is still financial committed to his house of which his wife still resides in.

    Wed 28, Mar 2012 at 3:13pm
  • User-anonymous Anonymous Flag

    Has he asked the solicitor if anything will change if he were to move in with you? I guess once the house is sold and sorted out things will become more straight forward and you will know exactly where you stand as you won't be paying his wife a monthly/weekly payment any more. I would check with benefits/citizens advice if you will be affected once your BF moves in with you as this may change the amount of benefits you can claim. Hope you get it sorted soon.

    Wed 28, Mar 2012 at 5:40pm
  • User-anonymous Anonymous Flag

    I can see that you are v worried about your financial security changing if your boyfriend moves in with you. You have three children to think about so it's understandable that you need to know where you stand.

    The Form E asks whether you intend to marry or live with someone in the next 6 months or in the foreseeable future (I can't remember the exact wording). So if this is the plan your boyfriend should answer 'yes' to it.

    If your bf has a pension, then his ex could be entitled to claim half of it.Whether he has to pay maintenance to his ex will depend on their financial circumstances. In some circumstances a husband has to continue to support a wife after a divorce. For example, if they've been married a long time and she had spent most of the marriage bringing up the children and now has only a small income. Working out what is fair in these circumstances can be difficult and can sometimes take a long time. A simple way of looking at it is to ask - if the ex didn't get maintenance would she still be able to pay all her bills? If the answer is 'no', then the next question is - how much can the husband pay and still be able to pay all of HIS bills?

    You're not going to get answers to all these questions until your bf has settled the finances with his ex. Without all the details of your bf's divorce it is really hard to say for sure whether he will still be paying maintenance after the divorce and the house has been sold. His solicitor will probably be the best person to ask.

    Another consideration is to do with your benefits. When your bf moves in with you, you'll no longer be assessed as a single parent. This will affect the amount of Child Tax Credit you receive and housing and council tax benefit as your bf's income will be taken into account. The Citizens Advice Bureau will help you work out what difference it would make. Alternatively you could use this website - to find out what you'd be entitled to or phone their free helpline - 0808 802 2000

    Thu 29, Mar 2012 at 10:21pm