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Child Access Demands

Posted by: Anonymous
Thu 1, Mar 2018 at 5:01pm
After Separation

Hi all
Im posting here for my sister really. She has a 9 year old girl whom she split with the father about 4 years ago now.
There have been some arrangemnts in place for all that time and now hes requesting changes and threatening solicitors and all of that - me personally I woud like it sorted cos I dont like the constant threats

Anyway Ive told my sister it has to go to mediation first but now out of the blue we have the demands that he is making for access changes, they are copied and pasted here below

I cant tell you what he does or doesnt have with regards to access now but what are peoples thoughts on this one

a) Full weekends (twice a month), Saturday and Sunday nights, 1st and 3rd of every month, removing my current Saturday mornings on the weekends.

b)Holidays, 1 week at Easter and 2 weeks during the summer holidays.

c) Straightening out the Wednesday/Thursday mix up, I would ****** all day/picked up from school Wednesday, I then drop her to school Thursday, and you collect her from school, eliminating all of ****** chopping and changing on these days. Times to be arranged.

d)Christmas, every other Christmas Day.

e)My time is my time. You don't call during my time with *****, or invite yourself into my time as happened at the Christmas fete this year.

f) I have access to ******* passport during any holidays abroad, and at the time of booking the holidays.

I know its nothing to do with me but a) b) and even d) seem OK but thats me!....c) I would say as its a shcool day it would be best to stop this mid-week switchover altogether - as messes the kid up so she stays with my sister

Not sure on the passport thing Ive read that Passports as of December 2015 must be held by the Resident Parent?? Also can he stop my sister from even speaking with her daughter when he has her??

Thansk for any advice - Im trying to stop this going to court due to the costs but half of me thinkss sod it and go to court get it sorted once and for all

Thansk for any advice!!

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  • Pc jaybee (moderator) Flag

    Hi, thanks for your post. Is it right to think that your sister agrees that certain parts of her ex's proposals are ok with her? (They sound reasonable to me - fairly standard arrangements for parents in their position.)
    On the other points, I may have a view, even some knowledge but what seems important here is that these parents work out what's best for them. (Also not sure that going to court is the way of resolving things once and for all - there's a strong chance that one or other of the 'parties' will come away feeling aggrieved, which really isn't helpful for children, see link to article below).
    I would want to encourage your sister to contact her local mediation service. They can offer her an appointment of her own and also arrange to see her ex separately so that both of them can have their say and narrow down the issues in the hope that a meeting between the two of them can be as productive as possible. Seems to me that the advantage of doing it this way is that there's a better chance that both parents will have a better understanding of each other's perspectives and come away feeling that they have had some input or 'ownership' of the outcome.
    Hope this is helpful.

    Sun 4, Mar 2018 at 11:32am