Cookies on The Parent Connection: The couple connection uses cookies to ensure that we give you the best experience on our website. If you continue to use the couple connection, we will assume that you are happy to receive all cookies from this site.

Contact order

Posted by: Anonymous
Sat 7, Jan 2017 at 1:21am
After Separation

My daughter of 14yrs old, contacted me after 8 years a short while ago. We have been talking frequently since and have seen her in two occasions. On the most recent occasion my daughter called me after I had dropped her at home and asked me to pick her up as her mother had threatened to put her in to care. Obviously I did. However 4 years ago I agreed to a prohibited steps order - a contact order - which I understood to be an order to progress contact in a suitable way. I assumed after 4 years that it would be obvious that contact should have progressed by now and my daughter clearly wants to see her father, moreover live with me.
My daughter has been running away from home recently ( before we were back in touch ) and had been extremely unhappy at home. She has told me that her mother bullies her, controls her beyond normal parenting and takes her phone from her often and without reason. Her mother has constantly poisoned the situation and my daughter, but my daughter has lately found out for herself that she has been lied to and is now obviously rebelling.
She was reported missing on Monday and has stayed with me until today. I was aware of the missing persons appeal the day before last, spoke to my daughter at length as to what we needed to do and then contacted the appropriate authorities. The police appeared just hours later and forced her to leave, in streams of tears. Social services informed the police that I don't have parental rights when I do and it was clearly against her wishes that she left. What do I do?

  This was of help to 0% of people  


  • Pc jaybee (moderator) Flag

    Thank you for your post. I'm sorry to hear you're having such a worrying time.
    Did Children's Services explain to you why they removed your daughter from your care, in spite of her wish to remain with you? The reason I'm asking is that she's of an age where her views and feelings carry a lot more weight than, say, a child of 6 or 7. However, there has to be proper attention paid to the issue of her safety and it's not always a good idea to let teenagers do exactly what they want. Going along with her alienating herself from her mother might not be the best plan. Ideally, it would probably be best for her to maintain good relationships with both of you whilst living wherever her needs for things like safety, nurture, parental guidance can best be met.
    Where is your daughter now? Is she back with her mother? On a scale of 1-10 where 10 is 'very worried' how worried are you about her welfare in her present circumstances?
    If you have serious concerns about these being unsafe for her, then you may have to contact Children's Services again. Otherwise, just make sure she gets to see plenty of you and give her whatever support you can over her relationship with her mum.

    Sat 7, Jan 2017 at 1:12pm