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Contact Orders and Safety Concerns

Posted by: Anonymous
Mon 13, Mar 2017 at 11:03pm
After Separation

I'm looking for some guidelines relating to breaking/partially following a court agreement.

My ex and myself have a court order in place to manage our contact with our two children (my girl aged 9 and my boy aged 11). This has been in place for 3years approx. When it was agreed he had moved to London (100miles away from his children) and was in a relationship where his partner also had children of simular ages and same sex with separate bedrooms based on their sex.

However he is nolonger with his partner and is living in shared accommodation (with strangers), where he's sleeping in the same room as both the children.

The children feel generally safe when he's in the house, but they have explained that he leaves them in the house to work evening's (he's a musician) and they are not being monitored correctly...if at all. My ex says that he is justified in leaving the children with his flat mates, but firstly it seems as if the flatmates are not fully aware of their responsibility, secondly they are flat mates as opposed to friends and finally the children don't feel confident to ask the flatmates anything while dad is absent. I've mentioned that in his absence he is unable to monitor who is in the house and the flatmates are not checking up on the children, as they feel that it's inappropriate to do so.

We had talked about this and I explained that it wasn't right and there would be consequences, however he believes his choices are correct and safe.

Now that he has repeated this, I've told him that I plan to suspend overnight stays but he can continue to see them every other weekend. I also explained that I am arranging mediation so as to manage this.

Hes claiming that I'm breaking the law. Is there a legal consequence to me abstaining from an element of the court agreememt, even though I feel that the children are not safe?

He even sometimes travels back from London on the Monday morning before school leaving the children exhausted and late for school even though he was told in court not to do this.

Any kind of help/words of wisdom would be of help. X

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  • Pc jaybee (moderator) Flag

    Hi, I'm sorry all this worry has come up over your children's visits with their dad. I can see why you might be concerned. Of course, making unilateral decisions about over night contact is not ideal but you seem very clear about why you have done this and, very appropriately, you've taken steps, by contacting mediation, to find a way of resolving the problem. Also, you're ensuring that visits continue - the haven't stopped altogether. How do your kids feel about not staying over at their dad's at the moment?
    There is of course a 'legal consequence' but that would only 'kick in' if your ex decides to take the matter back to court.

    Thu 16, Mar 2017 at 12:02pm