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Giving it a second shot.

Posted by: Anonymous
Wed 2, Aug 2017 at 5:50pm
After Separation
Separation,Affair,Second shot

The reasons that I'm seeking help is I was separated from my long time boyfriend who I have 2 kids with for 3 years. We were together for 10 years before the separation, But I recently found out that a year before we separated he had been unfaithful; and he got himself in a relationship with that same person. All this time we have been separated we were occasionally having sex and he would spent the night with me. About a year after we separated, I got pregnant and he and we agreed on me having an abortion. I knew he was with this girl but in my head I felt he was still mine. I could still be apart of his life, since he would let met, I would the same. I finally told him I was done and asked him not to contact me and to leave me alone. We would continue to co-parent the way we had been doing it but that was it. I didn't give him a choice. I had finally put my foot down.

He is now asking us to try it over and to take it day by day. I know that he still has feelings for the other person and is having a hard time figuring out what he wants. He has been honest with me about his feelings and he pretty much goes from trying to move on with me and giving us a fair shot to then saying he is confused. I don't know what to do. I'm lost. Apart of me wants to believe him and because we have 2 kids I want to try it again. I do love him and he loves me. I just don't think it's fair that he gets to tell me he is confused and is not sure of his feelings and in the meantime I have to be patient. I'm terrified that he will change his mind and end up hurting me again. I am hurting right now. It hurts that after all these years of being together and going through sooo much he doesn't know what he wants. I'm literally in pain.

  This was of help to 100% of people  


  • Pc jaybee (moderator) Flag

    I can feel it! What a tricky situation, (to put it mildly!) I can see why you might not want to take the risk of letting him right back into your life. On the other hand, you clearly have an important bond with each other, partly because you are parents together, so you have 'invested' in a relationship that, for all I know, deserves to succeed. The two of you may just need some help. Have you thought about maybe contacting something like Relate or Marriage Care?
    The other thing you might want to consider, and please don't think I'm brushing you off, is to visit the other web site run by One Plus One, called the Couple Connection. You might want to use the forum on there to get some support and advice from other people.
    I hope this helpful.

    Thu 3, Aug 2017 at 11:09am