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Help and advice please

Posted by: Anonymous
Fri 23, Jun 2017 at 2:28pm
Separating , After Separation


Myself and partner have just agreed to split, ( 14 + years together,) as we cannot reconcile following my ex-partner being unfaithful

We have 2 great kids aged 5 and 3. My eldest has noticed things are different as ex-partner now sleeps in another room. We plan to sell the house asap and go our separate ways.

I know it’s for the best, however its extremely difficult to comprehend and accept some days. When the reality of what is happening kicks in the feeling become almost overwhelming!

I’m worried about the future and what it holds for my Kids and also for me. I know it’s going to very tough in the coming months.
I dread the times where I’m in the house alone and not seeing the kids for a few days at a time!

Any advice is welcome


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  • User-anonymous leapfwd Flag


    It sounds like you are going through very natural feelings about such a huge decision. It is understandable that you will feel overwhelmed at times. When a decision like this needs to be made it is not just about ourselves and that can weigh heavily. To worry about the future and not having the children in the house is also a very natural thing - it would be a worry if you didn't. However, it sounds like you have made the right decision for yourselves and when you are overwhlmed it might be worth asking yourself 'What is the alternative'. We naturally avoid change, we are biologically programmed to avoid it but sometimes it is essential to do to go on living. Do you have support? Friends? Family? You can start to imaging how you can fill some of those imagined spaces with all the things you may have been missing out on. I have gone thorugh difficult break ups like most of us but not yet with children. I am going through serious contemplations of it and it is being discussed, I too have the fear. But I am finding strength in re-connecting to who I am and who I'd like to be in the future. When space opens up, it is scary but then other thigs come along. New parts of us are found and people can provide a lot of support emotionally and practically. Hope this helps a little.

    Sun 25, Jun 2017 at 10:56am