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Posted by: Anonymous
Fri 20, Jan 2017 at 8:24pm
After Separation

This is a long story but i will try and cut it as short as possible, i need some advise urgently.
I had my first child at 16 with who i thought was the love of my life, in time he grow controlling,abusive and would cheat on me and totally messed my head up. He would steal my money take drugs and vanish for days/ this point i had nothing left in me and just put up with it.
We broke up and he went and had a child with someone else,leaving our son only seeing him what he felt like it for 2 years.i tried to get on with my life but he just wouldnt leave me alone.Been foolish i beleived all him lies and took him back and we had another child. All qas good for a year but then the same started again but even worse than before. One weekend when he didnt return i felt lower than ever and decided to take the kids to his mums house just so i could have a little break. Only for his mum to phone social services when i left telling them i had dumped my kids on her.even though there father didnt come back from his drugfueld bender for another 4 days. He was given temp residency of the kids.we then went to court and he minipulated everything, made out he was perfect and i was damaged-i agreed i needed help as my head was such a mess but he was the reason for this.we was given a court order that said he had to make the children available for me 3 days a week.
This was 2 years ago and since this time he has made my life hell but also made my kids life hell at the same time. He has stopped me from seeing them. Told lies to them, told them i dont love them, i found out he was leaving my oldest alone at weekends while he was out partying(my son is 11) and he was taking drugs in the house with kids there and the list goes on. I have phoned the police and the social many times and i get no help what so ever as he puts a show on when they go see him. I txt him him every day asking when i can see the kids and i have to just wait till he replys with a yes or no thats if he does get back to me. Last week i spoke to my son who told me his dad has been wearing his school coat and my son set of for school to put his hand in his pocket and find empty drug bags. I then phoned the police and social and they have been removed from his care and put in the care of his mum. They said this was the best option for now due to school been next door and they will contact me in a couple of days. But now his mum has told me she doesnt wnt me near the house so i cannot see them. I called the social and they said they cant force her and i need to get legal advise because of the court order in place.
I really really need some help and advise on this please.
Please help me.

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  • Pc jaybee (moderator) Flag

    You sound really heartbroken about what's happened. I hope it's a relief to you to feel your children's situation is a least a bit safer now.
    I notice exactly how you worded your ex's mum's position - she doesn't want you 'near the house'. That's not the same as refusing to let your children see you. As there is still an order in place for the children to see you, is there some other reason why that's not happening?
    With Children's Services involved, it sounds like a good idea to get some legal advice.

    Sun 22, Jan 2017 at 3:58pm
  • User-anonymous Brokenmum Flag

    Thank you for your reply. I am totally heartbroken and nothing i seem to do is getting me anywhere.
    All "our" mutual "friends" have stuck by him even though they know what he has done to me for the past 12years. But im not suprised as they are the ones who go partying with him.
    But they are the ones spreading rubbish saying i gave my kids up and i am a shit mum, when in actual fact i didnt give them up at all and when we went to court i agreed they could live with him ( due to loosing my house because of him and of him munipulating me again) just so i could sort a house out and sort my head out.
    And i did all that bit when he saw how i was doing so much better without thats when all the games started again and he stopped me seeing the kids and only let me have them when he wanted to go out partying.
    His mum has said before she doesnt want to look after our kids and if it came to it she would rather them in care- how horrible i know.
    They dont need to go in care when they can come live with there mum. So she will do everything in her power to not let me see my kids.

    Sun 22, Jan 2017 at 4:14pm
  • Pc jaybee (moderator) Flag

    It's good to hear that, in spite of all this, you feel life is going better for you now and you have more to offer your children.
    It's important that you let Children's Services know how you are getting on and that you would like to see them - that you haven't lost interest.
    As I said before, it's also important that you get some legal advice

    Tue 24, Jan 2017 at 3:34pm