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Help please

Posted by: Anonymous
Wed 17, May 2017 at 9:49pm
After Separation

My ex now gets to see our daughters every other weekend, they go over to his. Since the court hearing, he went on Facebook and wrote horrible things about me. I brought it to his solicitor's attention. He also stopped paying for child maintenance. I got a call from my older daughter(6) to come get her because she had been sick after her dad dropped her off. My younger daughter(22 months) also looked extremely exhausted. I was told they had a fun and active weekend. My ex won't take my daughter for her swimming lessons on weekends she with him. I've offered to take her swimming and drop her off with the minder for him to collect both girls but he refuses and says he he would only get her from school. I have given him more than 48 hrs prior notice. Will I be wrong to take my daughter swimming regardless of the court order?she's already missed 1 lesson while at his, he didn't go her school when it was his turn and I had to. Should I have not allowed him to see or have contact with the kids?i thought of putting my feelings aside because it was an emotionally abusive marriage. I know my older daughter wants to spend time with her dad and I didn't object to that, I even said they would spend some days with him while on holiday, was I wrong for doing this?

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  • Pc jaybee (moderator) Flag

    I can tell how hard this is for you. I'm so sorry. You haven't done anything wrong - you just want what's best for your kids and you recognise that your older child, especially, may be missing her dad. If you want to make sure she gets to learn to swim, I guess, as long as you take her back to her dad straight after the lesson, it's worth a try.
    But, it does sound like some things need ironing out. As you have been through the court process already, I'm guessing that you may have been to mediation? Could you consider doing this again?

    Sat 20, May 2017 at 3:59pm
  • User-anonymous Bunmi Flag

    Thank you for your response, really appreciate it. We are back in court on 12th June. Yes , I did exactly that. I got a friend to hand my older daughter to her dad at his house. He had gone to collect my baby that barely knows him and the minder told me she had cried so much because she doesn't know him. So I could not let her be there without a familiar face,. He told my friend he was going to report me, because I shouldn't have come to his house. I do not have any restrictions, so I wonder what he's about.

    Sat 20, May 2017 at 7:30pm
  • Pc jaybee (moderator) Flag

    Good to hear that you've got help from your friends. It sounds like your younger child is finding it difficult to spend time with her dad. I wonder if there's a sympathetic, non-threatening way that you can let your ex know that you need to look together at what's best for your girls and that you're trying to do what's best for your children? Maybe when you're at court next time?

    Tue 23, May 2017 at 7:48am