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I need help

Posted by: Anonymous
Fri 9, Feb 2018 at 5:14pm
After Separation


I'm a absent father to 2 children 3 and 4 respectfully.

Contact was stopped by the mother for, "her reasons", so after attempting mediation where their mother didn't attend i then applied to the family courts for a child arrangements order.

This was met with the "usual" allegations of dv, emotional abuse and so on, which after police checks, cafcass have found to be false.

I've attended the spip course, and although a good course, i find i can't even begin to attempt to resolve the issues which my exe partner has as even after sending 2 e.mails to her solicitor i've received no response from them or her to see if she would be willing to sit down and talk about the issues..

How can i fix this for the children? At the moment because of the allegations made, the court have given me indirect telephone contact, and all my daughter says is, "i love you daddy, we want to come and see you please", this is heartbreaking for the children, and i'll admit, myself also. We had such a strong bond from birth with both children, and i feel that this bond is being broken by cafcass and the courts, as i've done nothing wrong, i didn't stop the contact, i've always been there for the children, and their mom when she's needed me to have the children early or longer periods due to health and family issues.

i honestly believe that the courts and cafcass are going to stop me seeing my children, and i don't understand why..

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  • Pc jaybee (moderator) Flag

    I was interested to hear that you attended the Spip course and, by the sound of it, got something out of it. Your ex will have gone along to one as well, I'm guessing. The purpose of these, among other things is to help parents to understand their children's perspectives.
    So, it's likely that the court has made this order in the hope/expectation that things will move on if this goes well and contact will change and improve over time. Is that right?
    Although it's very discourteous of your ex's solicitor not to respond to your messages, it may be that the best thing for you to do is to follow the court's instructions for now and avoid any actions or communications on your part that could be interpreted as pressure or harassment from you. Maybe it's a case of 'wait and see' and letting the dust settle, for now.
    What do you think?

    Sun 11, Feb 2018 at 1:58pm
  • User-anonymous absent dad Flag

    Hi Jaybee,

    The spip course is common sense, it's everything i was already trying, the exe hasn't attended at all, I completely have always been child focussed, unfortunately the exe just doesn't want fathers in her childrens lives, as per her older 2 children being stopped from having their father in their lives, happened once, and happening again, although he hasn't fought for his childrens rights, i will never stop fighting...

    The latest cafcass report is totally innaccurate, and and has numerous factual errors, which can be contradicted by social service reports, the cafcass worker states she has read all reports, but obviously has not, because if she had, she wouldn't of made so many errors..

    Tue 13, Feb 2018 at 3:36pm