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No communication/child swearing

Posted by: Anonymous
Sun 8, Apr 2018 at 11:40am
After Separation

Hi, my ex and I separated over a year ago and the only contact we have now is via email - and that is rare. It was a bitter breakup.

After an informal access agreement that worked for a long time, she recently began changing days and times, at short notice and against my wishes. I have applied to court for formalised access but that could take ages.

My most pressing concern is that our son (2) has used swear words at mine several times. The context on one occasion made it clear I was being insulted by either his mum or someone she associated with, while the other times it's been the f-word. Obviously I told him they were naughty words and informed her of what had happened, but she did not even reply.

The other issue is that I suspect, from things he has said, that she is already or will soon be putting him in nursery, but she ignores questions about this. I understand parental responsibility means I should be involved in these decisions but no idea how to enforce this given I don't know for sure he is going or which nursery it is.

Any advice on these two issues would be greatly appreciated.

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  • Pc jaybee (moderator) Flag

    Hi, thanks for your post. What a shame things have become difficult after running kind of smoothly for a long time. Any thoughts about why this is happening just now?
    It's understandable that you might want to have the court proceedings as some sort of insurance to get things formalised. What would be great is if , while you're waiting for that, you and your ex could perhaps take some steps to review and renew an arrangement between you that you could both agree to.
    You might want to think about contacting your local mediation service to see if they can help with getting you and your ex to start negotiating something together. (They would start by meeting with each of you separately.)
    You can find the address of your local service, and other information about mediation via the National Family Mediation website.

    Sun 8, Apr 2018 at 3:12pm
  • User-anonymous dbflex Flag

    Appreciate the advice. I felt we did have an arrangement we were both happy with but I guess I was wrong. I did attempt mediation but she ignored the invitation and I have the page of the court form to show this.

    Sun 8, Apr 2018 at 3:18pm