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Parent Problems

Posted by: Anonymous
Fri 3, Mar 2017 at 5:08pm
After Separation

Hi. After some help please. There is an order in place for my 6 year old little boy. He lives with me and has contact with his other parent every other weekend. The order has only been in place for less than a year and my ex has made lots of changes to this and I have gone along with it to keep the peace. However now they are saying the Child Arrangements Order is no longer valid?? I thought this was until the child was 16? I understand it can be built upon or varied which I may look in to doing.
The latest change in the order is for school collection. The first one my partner picked him up but the next my ex allowed their partner to do so. The school couldn't do anything about this apparently and released him. My concern is that my son hasn't known this person long and my ex took me to court for contact and is now giving this time away so freely to someone else who has no responsibility for our son?? The partner has been quite nasty to me and from day 1 made their presence known by confronting me, writing about my son in the arrangements book and so forth, I have so far just got legal advice to address matters, but now this! Surely if the other parent doesn't want the time with their child, then another arrangement should be made? I have even offered collecting our son myself and then meeting up later for drop off. Am I wrong in thinking this don't feel right?? I am prepared to go back to court to address things (there are a few other issues) but obviously need to know where I stand. In the court order it reads that I must make our son available for the other named parent on such a such day, are they breaching it by allowing someone else to do this? TIA

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  • Pc jaybee (moderator) Flag

    Thank you for your post. I'm sorry to hear you're so worried about how things have turned out.
    I'm glad to see you have had some legal advice. You may want to ask your adviser about the status of the court order but my understanding is that unless you have been back to court for the order to be altered in some way, it will still be in place as originally drawn up.
    I'm sure you realise there may be practical reasons why your ex has made certain arrangements for your son to be collected from school; there may also be reasons why it's better for your child if you and your ex don't meet up over 'hand-overs'. These can be stressful for children if they sense there is tension or conflict between their parents.
    However, it sounds from your post as if there are other things that need ironing out now that the order is up and running. Have you thought about trying to deal with these with the help of a mediator? I imagine your legal adviser would endorse this as a possible way forward that could save both time and money. What do you think?

    Sun 5, Mar 2017 at 3:50pm