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Parents not in agreement

Posted by: Anonymous
Tue 18, Apr 2017 at 6:08pm
After Separation


I have a friend who is 18y, she is going to have a baby in a few months and she does not want to register the baby in the father's name because the relationship they have is unbearable and they do not want to stay together. The issue here is the following:

If she doesn't register her child with the father then he can go to court and she wants to prevent this type of situation from happening. And so is there another way that she can do this without having to go to court? And if not, with these arguments (below) would she manage to still stay with the kid?Or should they get into an agreement even do it could be very difficult to suit both parties?

1st - The father is older than her he is 27y, as a job and is also father to another child.
2nd- Because of her age, she doesn't have a job, she lives at home with her parents and she also has a past history of being a bit reckless.

With this, is going to court later on a good idea for the mom?

Thank you for the help

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  • Pc jaybee (moderator) Flag

    Thanks for your post. you've raised some interesting questions. My initial response is, it depends on what the dad's hopes/ wishes are for a relationship with this baby. Is he likely to want to take over full time care of this child?

    If he wants to be involved - for the child to spend time with him and for him to have Parental Responsibility - he may choose to fight for this through the court and will probably succeed because the court's starting position will be that this is the best thing for the child. (To have the best possible relationship with both of his or her parents).

    He's unlikely to be granted full time care while the child is very young unless there are serious concerns about the mother being able to care for it. From what you say about your friend, it sounds like you're not sure what sort of mum she will be but past history is by no means a good indicator of how someone will be once their child has been born and they start to form a bond with each other.

    Unless this dad intends to walk away and having nothing further to do with his baby (which is quite rare actually), the chances are this couple are going to have to get their heads around being parents together and reach some sort of agreement, how ever awful their relationship with each other may be.
    You might want suggest to your friend that she looks at the help available through mediation. There's very likely to be a service local to where she lives. There is more information available by following this link on this site:
    or by going straight to the National Family Mediation web site.

    Fri 21, Apr 2017 at 1:24pm
  • User-anonymous Anonymous Flag

    Thank you very much for your advice!

    Fri 21, Apr 2017 at 4:21pm