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struggling to comply with court order

Posted by: Anonymous
Thu 2, Feb 2017 at 2:17pm
After Separation

Hi everyone,
I really need some advice and real life experiences...
Firstly I struggle terribly with anxiety so I may be over thinking or overly worrying but here I go..

My daughter is 4 1/2 and has lived with me since she was born. My ex cheated on me while I was pregnant and we finally called it a day when my daughter was 3 months old. Since then he has paid nothing for her despite me having a CSA case and now a Child Maintenance case. He currently has £2.5k of arrears and a liability order but still hasnt paid.
He has seen her most weekends since we split as until recently we lived close to each other.
We had a court order that I instigated last year and it said he has her every Saturday and that she resides with me.
In January of this year my partner and I with my 2 daughters (one is my new partners) we moved 200 miles away. I gave my daughters Dad 2 weeks notice and asked him to discuss a new child care arrangement with me, he decided he didnt want to and took me to court for a Prohibited Steps Order, he wanted to stop me from moving.
The judge didnt stop me but put in place a temporary order saying he can have her every other weekend. It doesnt state who drives her, who pays for it etc.
I have issues because I have a 6 month old daughter so I have child care issues, I also have Carpel Tunnel Syndrome which means my wrist and hand go numb and ache, its worse if I drive long distance, I also do not have a job, we are totally supported by my new partner as child care costs too much for me to be able to work so given these 3 things I have said I am not able to drive my daughter 200 miles to him, 200 miles back and again then next day!
He is kicking up a major stink over this and saying as I moved away I have to do the travelling... I cant magic money out of thin air, I just cant, and I have a genuine medical reason for not being able to travel that far.
Now the temporary order has been breached because I refused to take my daughter for a visit, I did however email him and say he is welcome to collect her.

We have a final hearing on 9th Feb, obviously the court will ask how the visits have gone :-(
What do you think is going to happen? Im so scared they will take my princess away, Ive done everything I can for her as a single mother, I moved for a better life and shes happy. He is just a selfish man trying to punish me for some unknown reason.
Any advice?

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  • Pc jaybee (moderator) Flag

    I'm sorry to hear you're feeling so turmoil about this.
    Fingers crossed, the court hearing will help to get things sorted out. you're clearly willing to meet him 'half-way' (maybe literally). The court will want the two of you to try and negotiate something on that basis and recognise that it's best for your daughter if she continues to have a relationship with both of you with as little upheaval and conflict as possible.

    Sun 5, Feb 2017 at 8:01pm