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Struggling to stop letting ex control my life

User-anonymous
Posted by: Anonymous
Flag
Sun 1, Jan 2017 at 6:07pm
Categories:
After Separation

I separated from my kids dad 2years ago. It was my decision but we ended friendly. Over time it's got more and more volatile. We are now going through the court system as we can't agree on anything. We have both moved on and I am extremely happy with my partner. But I'm struggling with having to constantly be dragged into my past when ever my ex and I argue. Does anyone have any coping mechanisms for having to put up with someone you can't get away from because we have children together.

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Comments

  • Pc jaybee (moderator) Flag

    Hi, I'm really sorry to hear that things between you and your ex have deteriorated over time. (The opposite of what usually happens!) It's especially sad to hear that you have ended up in court.
    Any thoughts about why things have gone down hill? What's changed since things were working ok to how they are now?
    I'm sure for your children's sake you'd like the hostility to end. I don't want to rub in what you probably already know but it might help to look at this article and see if it helps you to see things differently:
    http://theparentconnection.org.uk/blog/why-you-need-to-stop-arguing

    As far as the court proceedings are concerned, has anyone suggested mediation? Would you consider it? It's not too late to try and settle things by agreement.

    Tue 3, Jan 2017 at 3:11pm
  • User-anonymous MT1213 Flag

    He moved on with a women and got her pregnant within weeks. She isn't very understanding that he has kids with me. She has sent me vile emails and it's caused a lot of friction.

    I tried mediation I'm the past but he refused to go. He is now being court ordered to attend. There's nothing I want more than to end the hostility and co-parent effectively. I believe, though don't k ow for sure, that he is being egged on by his new girlfriend making the situation more difficult. Unfortunately it's made me angry towards them though I try not to rise to it.

    I will absolutely read the blog though, anything I can do to try and calm it will be helpful!

    Tue 3, Jan 2017 at 3:22pm