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after been separated for three years my son refuses to see his dad

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    How old is your son ? My son does not see his dad and hasn't for a few years (he is now 13), my daughter (8) sees dad although is increasingly saying that she doesn't want to go. I insist that she goes because I think she should have a relationship with her dad and there is a court order in place. However, if there wasn't a court order and she was saying she didn't want to go, I would invite her dad to sit with me and talk with her so that the parents can do what is best for the child. Sometimes children want to see that there parents are ok with each other. Unfortunately me ex refuses to communicate with me in any way so this is not able to happen in our household.

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    That must be worrying for you. Would you like to say more about your situation by posting on the Forum? You will get support from lots more people there.

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    Comments

    • User-anonymous Sinead Flag

      That's really tough...particularly if your daughter is now getting upset too. However, you and your ex seem to be doing your best to accommodate him. I wonder if it's anything to do with coming into puberty and all the body changes etc that brings with it. Who does he gravitate towards most when he is feeling vulnerable? I remember my son had issues to do with not growing as fast as his peers at that age. Your children sound well loved by both of you and as you know that's what matters.

      Fri 30, May 2014 at 3:21pm
    • User-anonymous stella5 Flag

      My son is 10 and daughter 8, contact has always been consistent since the separation every other weekend and extra in school holidays. I have a mainly civil relationship with my ex but it has been difficult at times. We both have new long term partners who the children seem to like. My son has gone through different stages of not wanting to go but I have always insisted on it until recently when he was getting very upset about going and begging me to stay at home. I agreed he cpuld chose when he wanted to go. He now refuses to go on most occasions and his dad has been trying to make changes. I have spoke to his school teacher and she has tried to talk to him but he wont give any valid reason for not going just saying he his unhappy. I have tried encouragement and not doing anything fun when he should be at his dad but nothing is working. It is upsetting my daughter and I now dont know what to do for the best for my children
      Any advice would be very welcome thanks

      Thu 15, May 2014 at 8:41pm